The Secret Diary of Meredith Sharpe ON HIATUS
by SociallyUnstable
Summary: Meredith Sharpe is Schizophrenic. She is the daughter of a successful businessman and step-daughter to a supermodel. But she likes to stay silent and behind the scenes. But her life completely changes when she meets Seth Clearwater. She's thrown into the world of popularity, hearts, secrets and lies, as she begins to learn more about the world she lives in...I suck at summaries :/


Tuesday November 20th:

Dear Diary,

I woke up today and it was snowing. Probably. Maybe. Probably not. I dragged myself out of bed and looked at the bottle of pills by my bedside table. It had been almost three weeks before I'd even touched them and I was doing fine. Sort of.

I went to take a shower and looked at the clothes that Flora had hung up on my wardrobe. It was a denim skirt and pink sleeveless top. I guess it wasn't snowing then. Why did Flora want me to dress like such a_ girl_? It's not like I was very attractive anyways. My skin is 99% freckles and 1% intact white skin. I dyed my hair blonde because Flora suggested it and Flora's suggestions were always correct. I have an average body type, I guess.

I looked at my ceiling and saw the stars of the sky. They fell down and scattered around me, covering me in a fairy dust-like substance. I giggled as I watched the glittering particles fall onto my fingers. I looked down on the floor to see myself surrounded in it.

It's not real. I finally told myself.

"Meredith" I looked up to see Flora shaking her head at me "Have you taken your medication?"

I nodded.

"You have another appointment tomorrow, after school"

I nodded.

"Gretchen will take you, your father and I are going out to dinner"

I nodded again. Flora was the nicest stepmother anyone could ever have. She was a supermodel and she constantly scolded me on my bad eating habits. She had the regulation bleach blonde supermodel hair, blue eyes and size 0 figure. She was such a lovely woman.

Gretchen was one of those 'I don't give a shit about anything' people. She was probably in her early twenties and she had long black hair that looked like it was always wet. I really didn't understand how she had gotten the job of my 'nanny'. I really loathed her.

I trotted downstairs and found some jelly babies in the kitchen cabinet. I liked arranging them in order of colour and once I did that I'd eat them starting from the one with the least amount first, and making my way down until they were all gone. My lunch for today would be a backpack full of Twinkies.

"Breakfast?" Maria -our maid- had asked me as I walked out of the kitchen. I shook my head and she rolled her eyes at me. Cranky old bat.

"Morning Miss Sharpe, I'm Borris, your new driver" A tall, thin man with sharp features and slick black hair greeted me as I entered the car.

I wonder what happened to Arnold? He usually drove me to school and I liked Arnold, he knew I was mute and he never once tried to get me to speak to him, he'd just say funny things that made me smile. Unlike Boris who constantly tried to get me to speak throughout the whole car ride. "What time do you usually like to arrive at school?" "Any shortcuts I should know about?" "Would you like me to pick up any friends of yours?"

I despised Boris.

I stood outside Lakeview High as the car drove off. I could see the cliques and assortment of people gathered around each other for social interaction. Flora wanted me to go to private school, but I put my foot down. I wanted to go to a large community school, where no-one would notice me, and it was so loud and busy -as opposed to a private school- that I could skip lessons and talk to my 'friends' anytime I wanted without getting caught.

I really didn't want to be socially involved with humans anyway. They all repulsed me and I couldn't stand to be around people that were so self-absorbed. At a private school would be even worse, because it's always a game of 'My daddy's richer than yours' there. It's easier here, no-one knew i was _The_Meredith Sharpe, because daughters of famous company owners didn't usually attend public schools.

I looked over at the 'popular kids', obnoxious self-centered and shallow, the richest kids in school. But I was richer. Probably the richest. Then the 'geeks', the socially-awkward wannabes. They wish they repelled humans as well as me. I was superior to all of them, and no-one even knew who I was. I didn't even know who I was sometimes. And I couldn't tell what was real or not sometimes. If you haven't guessed already I have schizophrenia. Google it and be glad you aren't me.

The bell rang and I walked inside ready for a day of remedial classes and loneliness. My trainers squeaked against the floors as I stepped onto them. I waited until the crowd had died down, and everyone was gone until I finally decided to start the journey to the office to get registered. I wasn't allowed to take English classes, because stories would stay stuck in my head and make my condition worse. My first nanny used to read me fairy tales and I still get paranoid that I'll accidentally tread on a glass slipper when I walk up stairs.

I got registered in the office as always and as I walked towards my locker, I saw a piece of paper on the floor. It had writing on it. It was an invitation for a party. A pool party, and it was addressed to a boy named Seth.

Seth. How many Seth's could be in a school this big? How many Seth's could be attending that party? I walked into Remedial Geography and hid the invitation inside my jacket pocket. I sat next to a boy named Zack. He was alright I guess, he had Dyslexia. I remembered that from the first day of school when we had to introduce ourselves and say why we were in remedial classes. That was embarrassing.

I got out a piece of paper and began writing on it.

"My name's Cody" He corrected, looking over at the paper I was writing on. I wrote on it in very large, spaced-out letters so that he could probably just-about read it.

"Seth Clearwater? I know him" He grinned. I wouldn't say Zack/Cody (I forgot) was my friend, because he was probably just nice to everyone. I don't think it was even genuine kindness, but he had that whole grunge thing going on, and he was like a rebel/bad-boy type. He had messy blonde hair and always wore a black hat on top of it and black clothes. He was very confusing.

"He's a senior" He said and I nodded. Seth Clearwater, the senior that was invited to a pool party by-.

I picked up the invitation and read it again.

-Marianne Roden. Head cheerleader.

I sighed to myself. He was probably one of the 'popular kids'. I was doing something nice for a 'popular'. He probably wouldn't even appreciate it, he probably already asked her for a new one. I had an idea! I could just go to the party and give him the invitation then. But then common sense slapped me in the face and I realised my own stupidity.

I would have to find him and give it to him before Friday. This would mean talking to people. A risk that I wasn't willing to take. How would I go about finding him? There were probably about a thousand kids in this school. What if it was the wrong Seth? What if he didn't even go here? What if I imagined it? I sat through my next two lessons concentrated on the invitation. An opportunity to socially associate myself with someone. This could be interesting.

Trevor was on vacation with his family, and he'd been gone for three weeks so far. I savoured those three weeks. When I confronted him about it, he laughed in my face and told me that it wasn't real. But I knew it was real, I knew I didn't imagine it. I tried to tell someone but I couldn't, they would just laugh in my face and tell me it wasn't real. Trevor has a perfectly gorgeous girlfriend. Trevor is an honour student. Trevor is one of the nicest people they'd ever met.

I sighed and walked to the office for my afternoon registration after sitting down on my own outside eating all the Twinkies I had stored in my bag.

After school I ate some Oreos and leftover Chicken salad that was in the fridge. I looked at my slightly chubby face in the reflection of the tap. Flora had always said that one day I would be obese, so the salad would probably 'even it out'. I wish I could stop eating, but I only did it because I was bored. When you can't watch TV, or even read and you don't have any friends, eating is the only thing you can do.

Wednesday November 21st:

Hello there dear friend,

When I got into the car this morning Gretchen was there sitting in the passenger's side giggling. She was meant to sit at the back with me, like she always did, even though she was always on her phone.

"So Borris you want to start your own chauffeur company, that is so ambitious!" She gasped.

Flirting. I had seen it done before and I could easily recognise what she was doing. I tried not to choke on the bile rising up in my throat as the car drove through the town and I had to endure her unnecessary giggling and pointless conversation.

"I have to take her inside" She looked at the back and rolled her eyes as he parked the car. I got out and walked into the Psychotherapist's office.

"Sit here, and come straight outside when it's over!" She hissed at me. I watched her saunter out of the waiting room.

"Meredith"

I looked up to see Shanna staring at me.

"You're still mute?"

I nodded.

"Have you been taking your medication?"

I nodded again.

"Have you got the wristband on?"

I shook my head and picked up a pen from her desk. I handed her the note and she opened her eyes wide.

"Why did you burn it?"

I shrugged.

"It's okay, I'm glad you did, now you can fit in better"

I smiled. I liked my therapist. She had a heart shaped face and red hair, and she was smaller than me, but I still respected her.

"Here's another prescription" She typed into her computer and drummed her fingers on the desk as she waited for it to print.

"When you're silent, you over think" She informed me "But when you talk you don't have as much time to think about things that don't matter"

I shook my head.

"Why won't you talk Meredith? It's been over a month" She sighed "I can't really help you if you don't talk"

I shrugged my shoulders and took the prescription from her hands.

The car ride home was horrendous! Borris and Gretchen repulse me! They sat there making crude remarks about each other as if I wasn't even in the car! They're so vulgar and explicit it makes me sick! I hate that topic. It disgusts me so much.

After staring at the invitation for some more time, I decided to go and eat something. I got an ice cream tub out of the freezer and took it up to my room along with a spoon.

Halfway through the tub, the house phone rang. It was the one that Flora used to hire employees and call the school with. Our number was in the book, and all application spots for any jobs were full. I couldn't pick it up, and I really didn't want to know who called. Gretchen was nowhere to be found so I left it.

Thursday November 22nd:  
I started taking my medication again. Properly this time. If I was going to start talking again I would have to try and get my emotions under control. I liked talking, but it's just every time I tried I felt as if I was being suffocated. So I decided to stay mute.

I went to sleep and dreamed of meeting Seth Clearwater.


End file.
